I’ve never bothered to keep a poker blog before. I doubt I’ll bother to write much about my personal life. Who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind. I like reading blogs but I don’t think I’m a very good blogger myself.
I think I just want somewhere to write when I’m frustrated or happy or just have something on my mind regarding poker. Or I think I want to have somewhere to keep track of how shitty or great things are going as I try to learn (to win) this ridiculous game.
I decided at the start of this year that I want to learn cash games, so I started playing 50NL 6 max on PokerStars. It’s been a pretty rough road since I started. I haven’t played a lot of volume for a variety of reasons and to date I have 78k hands played. I’m down about 15 buy-ins. I’m also running 15 buyins below expectation in all-in pots.
Someone I respect a lot looked at my stats at around 48k hands and told me that I’m running bad. At the time I was actually up money but with a very low win rate. It’s been even more downhill since then and I’m not really sure how to get myself out of it.
I know that a big problem is that I don’t play very often, so I should probably just keep playing. It’s funny how losing a bunch of money really makes you not want to play even when playing is the only way to get back to winning.
The weird thing is that it’s not about money… at all. I am massively overrolled for these stakes and I know that I would lose way more money playing a standard day of tournaments. It just feels way worse to lose say $200 playing cash than it does to lose $500 playing tournaments… for whatever reason.
I played tournaments all last week because I was sick of cash games. I played some cash yesterday and today and found that time goes WAYYY slower for me when I play cash compared to when I play tournaments. I’m not sure why that is. I also don’t know if I like tournaments a lot more than cash games because they’re more fun or because they’re easier or even because I’m just better at them (probably because they’re easier, hah).
I probably played 25 hours of poker last week? I definitely made a bunch of mistakes, but mistakes playing donkaments are way easier to fix than mistakes made in cash games.
Part of me thinks I should play tournaments and just make money playing poker while I can. But then the other part of me wants to learn to beat cash games for some reason. Even though I don’t find them fun? And even though I can’t seem to run decent, play decent, and win money? Yeah it doesn’t make sense… Actually, the stubborn part of me wants to keep playing until I’m finally breakeven for all-in EV. Then if I’m still down money I can finally say, OK I suck at cash, so I should just give up. At this point, though, I’m not sure if I have the patience to do that.
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