Poker has been good to start 2013. I’ve managed to play 30 hours so far this month, and I’m on an upswing. Over 700 games my EV ROI is 4% but my actual ROI is 6%, which is pretty nice. My average buy-in is a bit lower than usual because I’ve mostly been playing between $100 and $200 stakes, and I’ve been playing mostly soft games as a result.
I feel fortunate that I’ve run good playing poker to start the year because the rest of my life hasn’t been very fun. Last entry I wrote about someone close to me being an alcoholic, and I’m gonna just call her Sarah in this blog from now on (not her real name, of course). I never knew that someone’s alcohol problems could affect other people so seriously, but they really can.
I’ve been more on edge and less happy during my every day normal life ever since I got involved with Sarah’s drinking problem. I’m most stressed out and unhappy when I don’t know what is happening and when I don’t know if she is okay. After two weeks of being sober in the hospital near the end of December, I remember being worried and anxious every day after she was discharged that she would drink again.
I realized that I was so stressed out in part because I felt like that I should be doing more to help her and prevent her from drinking. I had to consciously tell myself that I wasn’t responsible for her drinking and that it wasn’t my fault if she started drinking again (which she did three days after he hospital discharge).
I also spend a lot of time worrying about what is going to happen next and the things that I have to do to help her next. When things are in limbo and I don’t know what is going to happen, I get really anxious, stressed out, and unhappy. It’s really tough to prevent myself from feeling this way. I have also been having trouble sleeping lately, which I have to assume is from this additional stress.
Right now Sarah is in the hospital. She was sent there from detox again because of confusion issues and I’m not sure when she is going to be able to leave. I am waiting to find out whether she will be sent back to detox or whether she is going to stay in the hospital because I want to sit down with her and a social worker to figure out the next best course of action for her rehab.
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