Finally played real sessions yesterday and today thanks to improved sleeping for two nights. Both nights I took melatonin, so there’s a good chance that’s the reason I slept better. I’m going to try to sleep without it tonight and hopefully it’s fine.

I think I ran well yesterday. Today I’m not so sure. I’m pretty tired at the moment and stopped my session after I couldn’t beat a fish at the end. He took 7 buy-ins off me and then I just declined and gave up because FML. It’s pretty tilting to lose over and over to someone that plays awful, but I’m just too tired and tilted and sick of getting coolered to keep going.

Prob had one of my worst days ever where tilt is concerned today. I hadn’t been playing for more than an hour when I already felt very tilted by the way I was running, so I took a break to calm myself.

Things were okay in the middle of the session, but then they got very bad during the last couple hours. I was playing a really aggressive fish and was down 8 BI to him at one point. While I was obviously running really badly and overall playing fine, I don’t think I played my best. It took me a bit longer than it probably should have to figure out the optimal way to exploit him, which I’m a little disappointed about.

I would say that I was so tilted that I wanted to start crying and throwing things twice today, which is a lot of times considering it usually doesn’t happen at all. Sure I get tilted on a regular basis and bitch and complain, but not so badly that I want to start crying like a stupid little girl.

I’m glad that I wasn’t able to look at my results during the day. I still don’t know how much I lost. I think that most of my run bad was at my lowest buy-in, which didn’t provide me any solace while it was happening. I don’t know if it should, either, but I do know that I probably would have been even more tilted if it were at my highest buy-in instead (which is a bad thing).

It’s been a while since I tilted this badly playing poker. Obviously, like most tilted people do, I ignored suggestions to quit the fish I was losing to and take a break. I think it’s accurate to say that most people are incapable of quitting a fish that is running hot, even when they know that the fish is probably insta-quitting the rematches once they lose one (this happens 95% of the time). This is almost certainly very bad.

Yesterday was pretty silly. I definitely have to work on not getting so tilted when I lose a bunch of games in a row. It’s pretty hard to do when I’m sleep deprived, which is why I don’t usually play when I haven’t slept well. Part of me thinks I should work on this, but the other part of me thinks that whatever, not playing when I don’t feel well is a good idea anyway.

Today I played 8 hours to slightly make up for yesterday’s punt. I really don’t feel like it went well at all, but I think my grind partner did a good job with not letting me complain too much 😉

Overall I’m happy with how I controlled my tilt today; it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t awful either. I don’t think I lost a lot today, though, and more think that I just ran quite a bit below EV.

Very addicted to this song right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKvEUJpAEQc

Slept like shit last night. Tired. Tried to play a few games just now and they went horribly and now I am massively tilted. Regret playing. If I can help it, I’m never gonna play tired ever again. It’s not worth it.

Today I played 141 games which seems a bit low for 6.5 hours, but action was quite slow. Volume has been pretty similar to this for most of the month and I’m hoping it picks up soon, but I’m not really confident it will.

I didn’t feel really tilted at any point during my session today, which probably just means I ran good. I started losing a few in a row towards the end of my session when I couldn’t beat a fish running hot, so I just stopped playing and now I’m gonna look for food 🙂

/boring post, maybe tomorrow will be more exciting

Not looking at results is pretty funny! I finally checked my results for the week yesterday after I wrote my post, and it was very surprising. I ended up with an EV ROI of only 1.5%, but I actually ran at a 10% ROI. That’s some pretty sweet run hot.

This is really funny to me because a lot of the days I played, I felt like I ran really badly. On Feb 9th I wrote that the day was “frustrating” and that I felt like I ran badly all day, but that day I actually ran massively above EV. I ended up +14 ABI that day, which makes me feel pretty stupid for complaining about variance. I really did prove to myself that I have no clue how I’m doing if I don’t look at my results.

This past week has definitely given me more reason to avoid looking at my results on a daily basis and instead do it on a weekly basis. Now when I am having a frustrating day and I feel like I’m running bad, I can just say to myself that maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about and I’m actually up a bunch 😛

Well I think I’m done playing for the day, even though I only played 2.5 hours. I ended my first session after playing a huge fish for multiple games and losing 7 buy-ins. At one point in the middle of our games (when I was down 8 or 9 BI), the fish actually said to me in chat, “YOU LOST SO MUCH” … I’ve never had a fish needle me in chat for being up a ton.

I was pretty tilted during the string of rematches because I’ve never run so poorly against someone I had such a huge edge on. He was insanely awful and I got coolered at every second. I knew it was a problem when I had multiple tables and didn’t care about the other ones, though. I wanted to win my money back so badly that I auto piloted the other tables so that I could focus on the fish table. This is obviously incredibly stupid. I did this even when the other tables were higher stakes which is even more stupid.

Alright I’m done berating myself. Prob gonna eat some food and just play again tomorrow.

Played a long day of poker. Went for 7 hours somehow, which is pretty rare for me since I never start early enough and games always die. Games were pretty good until pretty late tonight, though, which is probably why I didn’t stop playing. Yay Saturdays.

The day was very frustrating. I felt like I ran badly all day. The most frustrating parts of the day was when I was rematching regs, though, and just could not win vs them no matter what I did.

This seems to always happen to me: I rematch a reg for 20-30 games and either break-even or lose a ton of buy-ins. I can think of at least 5 times in the past couple months when I’ve played a number of games vs a reg and lost 6-15 buy-ins, but never the other way around. A lot of the times I doubt myself while this is happening because it seems to happen so often. Every time I rematch a reg, I just lose and lose and lose.

Of course I couldn’t keep my complaints to myself, and my friend told me that I was just running bad. He offered to look at my hand histories during a break today to make sure that it really was just variance, which was nice. He confirmed that I played fine, so oh well. I guess I just run bad when I play regs. Small sample, etc.

I haven’t checked my poker results since last Saturday, so I have no idea how I’m doing this week. Very occasionally it’s really annoying not being able to look at my results at the end of the day, but mostly it’s been awesome.

The reason it’s so great is because it’s really hard to stay tilted at something you actually don’t know. Sure it feels bad to lose and I might feel annoyed if I run bad at the end of a session, but I never feel tilted for long because I simply don’t know for sure that I’ve lost for the day.

You might go, “wtf, how can you not know if you lost?” but trust me, sometimes you just don’t know. I’ve had times in the past where I was sure I was down tons of money only to look and see that I actually made a couple bucks. Then there were other times when I felt like I was running really hot when I was actually just break-even.

Do you tilt easily or do poker results weigh on your mind once you’ve left the tables? I highly recommend not looking at results and/or your cashier for as long as you can.